Be Careful on Social Media

Yes, Social Media Can Be Used Against You.

I'm an experienced Ohio Divorce and family law attorney. I can offer common sense advice on how to avoid having your social media rants come back to bite you in court.

Pictures to Never Post on Facebook – Children

Kids, Drugs, and Sex on Social Media: A Goldmine to Your Ex’s Attorney

Any family law case has a tendency to create a soap opera like atmosphere, but instead of the dead fiance coming back from the dead with the dirty secret, anyone can easily uncover dirty secrets you post on social media. One of the most damaging forms of information found on social media are posted pictures and videos of kids, drugs, or sexual images. Many cases which on their face seem stacked in one party’s favor have been won by a clever attorney who did a simple social media search on the other party. There are many forms of information which may be found and used, but pictures and video can be the most harmful.

When posting on social media, whether it be Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc., if the answer to any of these questions is YES, do NOT post the picture or video.

1. Would you want to hide it from the judge?

2. Would you have to explain anything to the judge so it doesn’t make you look bad?

3. If your ex posted it, would you be able to make him/her look bad with it?

Pictures and Videos of Children

Posting pictures and videos of your children may be something you give little thought, and most pictures and videos posted of children are harmless. However, when you are in the midst of a custody battle, visitation dispute, or a divorce or dissolution involving children, pictures can speak more than words, and can be used to paint you in an unfavorable light.

Bathing or Naked

Yes, your children are adorable – but stop and think. Do you want naked pictures of your children posted all over the internet? Sexual predators and pedophiles search the internet for pictures of young children. Even if you believe you are only sharing the pictures with your family, Facebook is not the appropriate place to post these pictures. Once a pedophile finds and saves the image of your child it can then be shared anywhere on the internet. So, from a safety standpoint, please stop and think.

At a Bar

You may think it is cute that the kids are at the bar hanging out with you, or that perhaps the bar you are at is a “family” bar or is “okay for kids.” However, the judge may not see it that way. For example, in a divorce a husband could claim the wife has a drinking problem and should not have custody. Perhaps the wife does not drink, but on her Facebook page are photos of her and her children at a bar with pitchers of beer on the table in front of her. Depending on the judge, the court may see this as enough evidence that further evaluation is needed. Even though the wife may have nothing to hide, it needlessly makes the process more drawn out and burdensome, which also means more legal expenses.

Riding in a Car without Safety Restraints

If a video is posted of kids in a car with a parent and the kids are not properly restrained, this could be considered evidence of a parent’s inability to provide responsible care. Even though you drive safely and “you know” that your kids are safe, always consider how your ex may construe the video. Do not take pictures or videos while you are driving, in any situation it is just poor judgment and unsafe.

Holding a beer, cigarette (lit or unlit), or a joint

You may think it is hilarious when your child picks up your cigarette, beer, or joint – the judge will not. Again, anything you would not want the judge, your ex, your ex’s attorney, your parents, ANYONE to see – DO NOT POST IT! The judge will not view children as being a joke, or your poor parenting decisions as just a “my bad.” Your ex’s attorney will most likely persuade the judge that you make consistent poor parenting decisions, and think your children are only there for your amusement. Do not give the attorney pictures to help him persuade the judge.

In clothing with suggestive phrases, or depicting any sort of illegal behavior

If your child is wearing a shirt with curse words, pictures of illegal drugs, street names for illegal drugs, depictions of violence, pictures of weapons, or sexual words or depictions printed on it – DO NOT POST A PICTURE OF IT! Even though you may believe you are helping your child exercise their freedom of speech, or your freedom of speech, the judge will not view it that way. Again, any pictures of this nature will be construed as an example of your poor parenting decisions, and inability to parent the child.

Singing songs with suggestive or explicit lyrics

Yes, it is awesome your child knows all the words to the new pop or rap song, especially since it is your favorite artist. However, if the lyrics your child are singing, or lyrics that are present anywhere in the song, are explicit in any way – DO NOT POST THE VIDEO! Your little girl singing about her “lovely lady lumps” will not be seen as cute by the judge, but as an example of a parent exposing a child to sexual material. Even if your child is not saying the inappropriate language in the lyrics recorded in the video, but the language is contained in another part of the lyrics, the judge will assume the child has been exposed and has listened to the entire song. The extent of the damage of this type of video really depends on the perception of the judge, but why risk it.

Saying their first curse words, or using any vulgar language

Pictures to NEVER Post on Facebook

A Goldmine to Your Ex’s Attorney: Sexual Pictures on Social Media

Again the three questions to ask yourself in deciding whether to post a picture of your child also apply in determining whether you should post a picture of yourself.

1. Would you want to hide it from the judge?

2. Would you have to explain anything to the judge so it doesn’t make you look bad?

3. If your ex posted it, would you be able to make him/her look bad with it?

Another way to think about it is this: If you would not want any of the following to see it, DO NOT POST IT!

parents
grandparents
priest or pastor
child’s teacher
employer

“Sexy selfies” or photos of yourself which may be viewed unfavorably by the court.

Below is a sample list of photos you should never post of yourself, and should remove if already posted, especially if you are involved in some type of family law dispute.

Sexually Suggestive Poses

During a family law dispute, people who were once very close and comfortable enough to share everything in an instant can become each other’s worst enemy. Pictures your former spouse or partner may have requested you take, can be turned around on you. For example, your ex may have encouraged you to post pictures of yourself in sexually suggestive poses, “so everyone can see how sexy you are.” However, once the couple becomes involved in a custody dispute, the pictures once requested, will become the picture he can’t believe you took and posted on Facebook. If you have posted pictures like this while in a relationship with someone you are now going through a legal dispute with, or are likely to go through a dispute with, remove the pictures.

Naked Pictures – Even if Nothing is Showing

In our society there are various degrees of acceptability when it comes to the human body. Society’s view of the naked form not only varies from country to country, but from region to region. Some people may view a photograph of a naked woman or man as art, but another will only view it as pornographic. As people’s perceptions vary, so do judge’s. For example, a wife is pregnant and has artistic photos taken of herself where her private areas are concealed, and then posts them on social media to share with family and friends. Although the wife sees the photos as a beautiful artistic expression of the female form, a judge may not share her same enthusiasm. Respect your own privacy and keep these types of photos off of Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and others.

Body Piercings

Pictures of piercings of anything other than on your face should not be on social media. Pictures of breast, vaginal, or of male piercings should not be shared. On your phone, the picture may seem flattering and cool, but when the picture is blown up on the projector in the middle of the courtroom in front of your ex, the judge, the court reporter, and bailiff, it will not seem so flattering and cool. In a family law proceeding your perception of you is not as important as the judge’s perception of you. Leave the self-expression for those who know you best, and those who meet you in person, keep it off of social media.

Tattoos in Areas Normally Covered by Clothing

Pictures of tattoos are generally okay as long as they are not vulgar in nature, and in a place normally visual in public. For example, a tattoo on your arm or lower leg, of a flower or cross, is fine. However, a tattoo on your upper thigh, breasts, stomach, side, or lower back are most likely not okay. Remember, regardless of your personal opinion on tattoos, or even society’s general acceptance of tattoos, it is the judge’s opinion and perception that is the most important. I am not suggesting you should not have these tattoos, just do not post pictures of them on social media when you are involved in a family law dispute.

Pictures or Videos of Dancing – Especially Pole Dancing

Pictures or videos of you and your friends living it up at the club, or dancing in any sexually suggestive manner should not be shared on social media. Although the dancing may be innocent, or just of you having a good time, an attorney can paint the pictures or video in an unfavorable light, suggesting you are uncontrollable, reckless, or have a drinking problem. Even certain types of fitness dance, especially pole dancing, can be construed in an unfavorable light. The majority of people are only familiar with pole dancing as “what strippers do,” even though it has become popular in mainstream society as a new fitness workout. The shared post of your new routine you have been working on with your instructor may be a moment you are very proud of, but in the eyes of judges it may only be seen as inappropriate.

There for you through the entire process.

I gives free consultations, guides you through your decisions, and I'm available for continued support after the divorce is over.

When You're Ready To Let Go

Be Careful on Social Media

Pictures to Never Post on Facebook – Children

Kids, Drugs, and Sex on Social Media: A Goldmine to Your Ex’s Attorney

1. Would you want to hide it from the judge?

2. Would you have to explain anything to the judge so it doesn’t make you look bad?

3. If your ex posted it, would you be able to make him/her look bad with it?

Pictures and Videos of Children

Pictures to NEVER Post on Facebook

A Goldmine to Your Ex’s Attorney: Sexual Pictures on Social Media

1. Would you want to hide it from the judge?

2. Would you have to explain anything to the judge so it doesn’t make you look bad?

3. If your ex posted it, would you be able to make him/her look bad with it?

“Sexy selfies” or photos of yourself which may be viewed unfavorably by the court.

There for you through the entire process.

Determine Your Path

Understand the Process

Help After the Divorce

When You're Ready To Let Go

I'm a divorce attorney that cares. I guide you through the entire process from start to finish.